BY: Sonny Pinkney
They say behind every good man, is a great woman. That is just part of the story of influencer and entrepreneur D’wayna Irvin, now known as “D. Irvin”. Irvin is loyal to a fault – she gave all of her love and devotion to her ex-boyfriend, which almost cost her life and nearly derailed her from her true purpose.
She goes into detail about her past in her debut book, ‘When A D.A.B. Spills the Tea,’ the meaning of the acronym “D.A.B,” and how she overcame obstacles in her life, by turning a calamity into success and not becoming a product of her environment.
“D.A.B. stands for ‘Down A** Bit**. It came from my reality, that is the best I got. No sugarcoating—no nothing, that is where it came from…my reality,” Irvin said.
“Since I first started dating, I was always in a position where that was on the forefront. I was a Down A** Bit**. So, every guy that I dated, it was a cycle. They were always street dudes.”
Being in the street life, D. Irvin was surrounded by money, cars, jewelry, and designer bags. It worked for her at that time, until it didn’t. However, when it pertains to other women who are currently in a situation similar to hers, her advice is simple…’do what you feel is right’.
“I never tell a person what I think they should do; I give them my reality. Do what you feel is best for you, because what works for me might not work for you.” Irvin asserts. “I’m going to tell you this though, in the streets, you should always put yourself first.”
In life, we all look back in retrospect and wish we did things differently; and Irvin is no exception. The entrepreneur, who stated that she is evolving as a person, says she regrets remaining in certain positions.
“The only regret that I have is staying in situations longer than I should have,” the ‘D.A.B’ author revealed. “That goes for friendship, relationship and business…I am not a blame person. I don’t point the finger. I hold myself accountable because I chose to be in those situations.”
D. Irvin, a New Orleans native who grew up in the 9th Ward of the city, was in a committed relationship with her ex-boyfriend for nearly a decade while he served time in jail. She explained to feedbackthemagazine.com, why some women jeopardize their futures for a man.
“They want to be the chosen one,” Irvin thinks. “They want to win the men thinking that men are the prize.”
D. Irvin became a teen mother at 14-years-old [now mother of two] and felt that she wasted a decade of her life in that relationship with her ex. While she thought her loyalty would be appreciated for waiting on him, that loyalty was not reciprocated.
“It was an amazing lesson learned and I’m able to make lots of money off of my book by telling my story.” Irvin said, laughingly. “So, now I don’t feel like it was wasted. It was not a loss, it was a lesson.”
Although she left the street life relatively unscathed, D. Irvin faced another serious hurdle in her life. For years she has been tackling mental health struggles ranging from anxiety to depression, and she has even experienced suicidal thoughts in the past.
The moment she recognized that she needed to seek counseling was when she began to purchase expensive items excessively. She thought the material things would ease the pain, but they brought her no comfort.
“When I found myself at a place where no matter how many bags I bought or how many cars I got, I still wasn’t happy, I knew I had to find a place of peace,” she recalls.
Currently, residing in Atlanta, Georgia, Irvin says she is now “doing great” mentally and she attends therapy sessions once a week. She encourages others to always take their mental health into account and to not be ashamed to get help when needed. To support others in their mental health journey, D. Irvin has plans to open a women’s center in the near future.
For more info: Follow D. Irvin on Instagram at @therealsupad. Her book, When A Real DAB Spills the Tea is available now and can be purchased on Amazon at https://www.amazon.com/dp/B08G7ZVW6N/ref=dp-kindle-redirect?_encoding=UTF8&btkr=1.